Just a puff of wind that hardly anybody noticed
And why should they?
Just another grain of dust
That blows gently through the world
And then is gone, quickly forgotten
Like so many and so often.
Hopefully, just a hint of kindness and care
And somebody that was loved.
A laugh and maybe a tear
Just to prove that I was here.
Above is a commission I did when I first started my so called painting career. I hate commissions but in those days, needs must. I happen to love horses but being asked to do a portrait of them was a nightmare. So because what follows is a prediction of gloom, why not add a picture that I hated doing.
I have come to the conclusion that anybody born just before, during or just after the last war has as Dickens opened in his Tales Of Two Cities, ‘the best of times’. They are to be envied. And as that age group includes myself, I feel the need of a pat on the back for my own good fortune. Anyone of the above category would have been too young to fight in the war and if you happened to live in a rural area, then things really weren’t so bad. Rationing was bearable and living without things you haven’t ever know, like bananas, is just blissful ignorance and therefore relative happiness.
In my lifetime I have seen technology increase exponentially and the state of the planet worsen at the same rate. Since the end of the war, the human race has carried on being as nasty as possible to each other. Endless mini wars and conflicts have proved that. Religion has denied other religions and racial tension has increased to bursting point. In the Muslim religion Shias hate Sunnis and the Taliban and Isis hate everybody. Hindus are still killing Muslims and vice versa. And Catholics, Protestants and non conformists will always be at some kind of war whether it be real or emotional. And worldwide, Jews continue to be hated by nearly everyone. Irrational but true.
And now with the seemingly unstoppable climate deterioration, the southern hemisphere has decided that they would be much happier in the northern hemisphere and are on the march. The Siberian perma frost is melting in one part of Russia and fires rage in the Arctic area of that some country. Fires have become out of control in the western states of the US and and Australia and Brazil continues to deliberately burn down as much of the rain forest so they can to make way for more agriculture. And the jungles of southeast Asia are been eliminated to make way for palm oil trees. And, more worrying than anything, the ice caps continue to melt at an alarming rate and sea levels are rising. More and more animal and plant species are becoming extinct. Even bees which we can not possibly do without, are in trouble. And now of course, viruses are beginning to attack us and will continue to do so, vaccines or no.
I feel really sorry for the next generations that will try to survive the next hundred years. We have left them a poison chalice which will probably be just too hard for them to deal with. If you remember I wrote a story several months ago about aliens giving up on our blue planet as a hopeless case. If they can still be bothered to watch what is happening now here on earth, then everything that they predicted, is surely coming true. If your are religious then get out your prayer mat or start going to church. Synagogue, Mandir or Mosque and if not, think seriously of buying a one way ticket to Mars. You’ll probably be safer there.
I’m always looking forward to things.
What s happening tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
But what’s the point to all of that
When today is what’s important and, that’s a fact.
Looking back at things is sometimes good
Memories of happy times from yesteryear,
But then there’s always sadness there
And sometimes that’s just too hard to bear.
So my advice is live for things today,
And celebrate the here and now.
Laugh a lot and think kind things
And believe in the toll that never rings.
I have always hated cats. If anything, I’ve always been a dog man. Never had one mind you.
My mother hated all pets; she was probably overly house proud and pets were to her, a source of all round dirt and unpleasantness. Nasty things.
The trouble is that my partner B who I’ve lived with for the last couple of years likes pets and in particular, she adores cats. She knows how much I loath them so we’ve come to arrangement that until we have children, we’ll defer thinking about having any pet. She grew up at home with cats and they were very much part of her family and she wants our kids to have the same so called opportunities. Thank God we both have successful careers at the moment and have no plans in that direction. When the time does come I will just have to do my best to reverse that position; with a bit of luck the ‘baby’ will have the same anti cat feelings as his Dad. The very thought of it makes me shudder! The cat not the baby.
A few weeks ago this strange looking cat appeared at the bottom of our garden. B was still at work so I took the opportunity of rushing down the garden yelling my head off until eventually it jumped over the back wall. At first I thought it was just going to stand its ground as it didn’t seem that perturbed by my onslaught. But when I got really near, it decided enough was enough. Strangely it jumped that wall in an almost bored and languid way as though it wasn’t that impressed with the level of my shouting and obvious agitation. However, it must have impressed our neighbour as he came out into his garden to ask if I was ok. Bit embarrassing really when I told him I was just chasing a cat. I didn’t tell B when she got back from work. What the eye doesn’t see etc.
The trouble was that over the next few weeks the damn cat started to regularly sit at the end of the garden and inevitably, B to became aware of him. After a lot of ‘cooing’ and ‘doving’ on her part, she informed me that this particular cat was a pedigree Siamese seal point and if the owner had lost him, he was almost definitely worth a lot of money. To me he was just another cat, posh or not. Inevitably, she started to feed him at the end of the garden which as you can imagine I wasn’t entirely happy about.
This next thing I knew was that there was a cardboard box outside the back door and refreshments and water were being provided on a regular basis. However I was adamant that a line would have to be drawn between the garden and the house. As long as it stayed the other side of the back wall and I could avoid it as much as was possible then things could continue. I love my partner and as long as these rules were adhered to, then I supposed, albeit reluctantly, I would have to put up with it.
And then last week she informed me that she had been able to pick it up and put it in a box and had taken the damn thing to the vets to check whether it had an internal identification disc. And she also wanted to find out if a Siamese had been reported missing. It didn’t and no, there was no sign of whom it belonged to. She’s now going to contact a Siamese Rescue Centre to see if they can re home it. So please God the whole thing will be over soon and we can both get back to normality.
She arranged for someone from the rescue centre to pick the cat up this week. But two nights ago, something strange happened. I woke up about three in the morning and to my horror, the cat was curled up between us on the bed and it was staring at me.
B can’t sleep without a night light so I could even see its blue eyes, as blue as B’s. Having never been that close to a cat before I sort of froze. Frankly I was even too scared to wake B up. And then something even more strange happened. Very slowly the cat put its paw out and touched me lightly on the cheek and then took it away again. We continued like this for several minutes until eventually and bizarrely, I fell asleep.
In the morning the cat had gone. I related all the night happenings to B and she admitted that she had brought the ‘cardboard box’ into the kitchen before she went to bed. Evidently it was really cold and she felt sorry for it out in the elements.
Off to work in the morning and no sign of him when we got back. I even got up and looked up the garden and actually went out there but nothing. That night, the same thing. She must have left the back door open because there he was again with the staring and the paw on my cheek.
Yesterday the woman from the rescue centre turned up with a basket ready to take him. B was upset of course but decisions have to be made albeit they are sometimes really painful. But they have to be made.
We’ve called him Henry and we’ve now got a cat flap fitted. I’m not keen on the back door being left open at night. Of course, I haven’t told any of this to my colleagues at work and so far we’ve been able to keep our situation from friends and family. They know how much I hate cats.
Note: The drawing above was done may years ago. Left to right – Max, Mabel, Mimi and Mootoo. A set up of course. None of them were the best of friends but they loved us of course. And of course the story is entirely fictional; I am besotted with cats, especially Siamese. We have the most wonderful Siamese Seal Point in the world called Milo, who has lived with us now for five glorious years.
A yellowed mist curls and swirls its way across the high reeds
Which move almost inperceptively towards the sleepy light.
The stillness of dawn draws back from the harshness of the day
And the marsh takes its first breath.
All life wakes as the sun rises slowly behind the church
And stretches its tendrils of warmth towards the river.
Reed warblers stir in their nest of warm eggs and weary mice return to theirs.
And a hungry fox pads its way silently home along the path sniffing the air in hope.
Sea birds sweep the sky, moving slowly to the low tide mud
Where they will feed and recover from the nights icy roost.
Curlews sing their song of joy and oyster catchers squawk languid replies
And a curious seal swims along the river towards the sea after a lonely hungry night up river.
An old man walks carefully along the river path, a dog by his side.
And the marsh holds its breath as they pass.
The tired seal monetarily glances up at the man as he passes by
And the man stares back, the dog too bored even to bark
The marsh is awake now and anticipates the day.
A living, breathing, wondrous life and maybe even death to come, who can say
Whether sunshine, storm or rain
Until the cold darkness and sleep comes once again.
Getting old is not so bad
But sometimes, it’s really sad
Creaking bones and aches and pains
And a memory that waxes and then wanes
Friends and family that are gone
My mother Mary and my dear dad Ron
Memories of happy times I had
When I was young and just a lad
Now its time to settle in
Another year, another win
Looking forward to summer days
Pleasant times and laughing ways
And when its over and when it ends
There’s no regrets or bitterness to mend
Rather joy of life and love
Be it from below or hopefully, above.
An elderly man is sitting at a table in an enclosed walled garden. A much younger woman walks through a gate and sits down opposite him. They smile at other and for a while examine and talk about the garden and its abundance of flowers and shrubs that line the stone walls. The sun appears to be setting and the sky has a strange but comforting reddish glow about it. Low on the horizon just appearing above the wall is the shadow of the moon. Behind and slightly to the right is another much smaller moon.
Good trip?
Interesting.
Interesting but not that good?.
Let’s say I’m very glad to be back to safety and normality. A huge sigh of relief.
The usual route?
A bit farther this time. One of the blue planets on the outer ring.
Do we know anything about it from before?
Not really. Nobody has bothered so far. We have of course been aware of its beauty and potential but have somehow suspected unhappiness. And for that reason we have tended to avoid it. In the end, I had to summon up my strength to land there and explore. And frankly, in the end I was glad when it came time to leave. I felt very uncomfortable the whole time I was there.
Please continue.
Populated by humanoids similar to us and of course associated species, the humanoids again like us are the dominant life form. They appear on the one hand to be developing their technology and scientific understanding but seem not to have any concept of sustaining life on their planet. With their limited knowledge of science and medicine, their lifespan tends to be a fraction of our own but with the passing of time, it has slowly increased’
Bizarrely, they farm some selected species for their own consumption; they appear to have no compassion for these poor creatures who, I am sure you will agree, they should be protecting rather than killing. They do eat plant life but only as an adjudication to their consumption of meat.
Amazing and at the same time rather disgusting. Please continue.
They are aggressively cruel and actually kill each other in organised and futile wars. They even play games on primitive computers that replicate these acts and seem to get great joy from doing so. Unlike us, they have not yet amalgamated their physical and mental abilities. So any differences in skin colour and facial characteristics put them at odds with each other and more often than not, this leads to to aggression and conflict between them. They have developed various religions, faiths and beliefs and that again puts them in opposition to each other. Kindness and respect for themselves and other subordinate species seem to a greater degree to have been lost to them.
Also they appear to have no concept of equality. The hierarchy and meritocracy appear to have all the wealth and the majority have varying degrees of little or nothing. And nobody seems to really worry about this situation which I found confusing. Some of them have some awareness of a conscience over this but still do little or nothing about it. In other words they give in to the majority although they know there is something inherently wrong.
On the positive side, there is an undercurrent of creativity and the love of music, literature and and the arts. There is even some compassion and sensitivity, although the latter as I have said before is not universal
Amazingly they have only just begun to realise that their use of fossil fuel and treatment of waste has resulted in their upper atmosphere becoming less effective in its barrier between the planet and their star. This has resulted in extremes of climate and a movement of the population from the southern to the northern hemisphere. Again, conflict has been the result.
Your conclusions
I think we should be thankful that they haven’t yet found the formulae for the speed of light travel yet. Their existing formula which is suspect, has prevented them so far from any progression in that area. Their primitive technology has allowed them to visit their own moon and send probes to other planets in their system. Therefore, I suggest that we monitor their development and if they eventually are able to travel to other systems, then we should actively prevent this from happening. The risk of contamination with their diseases and beliefs would be far too dangerous.
I suspect that the planet and all its species including the humanoids, will be extinct long before that happens. As I’ve said, there is a very small minority who are beginning to think like us but the chances of them persuading the majority to change its direction are slim. Most of them are consumed with greed, avarice and envy rather than the more positive secrets of life itself. My conclusion is that we have more promising and positive systems to explore and we should leave them to their own fate. They deserve no less.
Agreed
God is with you on this journey,
Neither man nor spirit will trouble your path,
You have suffered enough.
Pain is finished
And tranquillity and peace now begin,
You deserve no less.
It is your right.
Your faith has been questioned,
Your courage tested.
Only love has remained with you
And this you have grasped tightly,
Using its strength as your sword
And its sincerity as your shield.
You are a warrior of life
And a victor of death.
Go now with confidence,
Only truth waits
And it holds no fear for you.
I was there in that time before.
Heat burned my face and smothered my brain,
Worn limbs held my metal too heavy,
Sorrowful eyes tired at the rotting death,
It rings clear as the heart that now beats.
Women cry in tragic nightmares,
Blood seeps from my tunic like a sticky rash,
Salt sweat mixes with blood from a bitten tongue,
My stomach is empty and aches from sickness.
This other world this other time,
It remembers me as I remember it.
It pricks at my consciousness and cuts at my soul,
It heightens a guilt that I have no understanding of.
It is a memory of hell,
Of morals cast to the deep and all reason shed for lustful passions,
Of so called bold actions taken in hysteric anger.
A memory of hate in a loveless world.
It stands now to accuse me.
Me, in my simple world of easy decisions.
It remembers and will not relent.
I was there in that time before
And am forced to believe and must never forget.
I have returned home and brought enchantment with me.
It is enough that the pleasant season is here without my silly happiness.
From the window,
I hold my breath at the beauty that I see,
So unlike yours.
Fields are infinite in a corn yellowed haze,
Primrose woods shine butter like on hills,
Villages are sleepy and ignorant of my pleasure,
It is the time of peace and prayer.
I will purge my whole being of remembering.
My life is explosive and can suffer no more,
Too much love and I will drown for ever.
I must listen to sweet music and paint soft scenes,
I must smell fragrant flowers and eat crisp lettuce,
I must remember nothing and at the same time everything.
Decisions must be taken from me and dissolved.
I must bathe in cool water and lie on green river banks.
It is the time for pointless questions and final answers.
It is the time for being and belonging.
paulolearybennett 